There's Not a Course Description for that

 "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt's quote is from a Christmas gift I received a month ago.  Who knows who it's from because it was left on my desk among packages gathered throughout the busy day.  A day that was filled with love, business, and the excitement to see family and friends.  A day I would gladly go back after the past 72 hours. 

A month later, that gift was found in my room and a reminder that today was just that... a thing I did that I wish I never had to do.  There's not a class on how to lead through grief.  There's not a script for every situation that presents itself during the days after losing a friend, colleague, mom, teacher, sister, daughter, wife, and wonderful human.   There are no words for the family that's surviving in the moment.  The young aide who's lost a mother figure.  The teacher down the hall that depends on those morning conversations.  The friend who has been navigating health issues over the years and advocating for answers.  There's no class for any of it. 

This is not the first time leading a staff through utter sadness.  This time is different; unexpected, abrupt, and down right hard.  You are the right person to lead them out of the darkness, I was told.  Dad would have agreed.  He always thought I was great with relationships and easy to talk to.  I have a way with people because I'm authentic and my compassion is real.  You are thinking of people you've worked for or with that, the words lose meaning quickly because actions don't match.  It's sad but we all have learned from these people.  Some more than others.  

But I didn't have to lead anything today.  Today, Kellie's stories lead the day.  The sharing started in the office and continued in the library.  I listened.  Tears flowed as the reality set in.  We prayed.  The confusion of how to manage kids' emotions while we grieve were real.  We love.  The connection with the family and letting them know how special she was; we embraced. The past 2 days have been filled with reflections of how Kellie lived her life and how she treated each of us and there was one common theme: love.  

Just Love.  

Kirsten