Changed

Three years ago dad was beginning his first treatment, undergoing procedures for research, and sharing his message to the world. The days have increasingly become more difficult, and in these times I find myself asking how did he do it?  How did he NEVER show fear?  How could he rely so much on his faith and here I sit, broken?

Rereading some of his posts, I realized just how strong he was through it all, even in the beginning.  I listened to the Rascal Flatts song he posted about the time he was beginning radiation.  That was the only time I knew he struggled.  It was a daunting task...no, it was a horrible situation to have to be strapped to a table with a mask that makes you feel like you are suffocating. Yet, he did it with no complaints.  He gave everything to God and I find it fitting to share the song he shared during that time:

Changed by Rascal Flatts
Listen to the song here.

"I came up, out of the water

Raised my hands up to the father

I gave it all to him that day

Felt a new wind kiss my face

Walked away, eyes wide open

Could finally see where I was going

It didn't matter where I had been

Cause I'm not the same man I was back then

I hit my knees, now here I stand

There I was, now here I am

I'm changed for the better

Mores smiles, less bitter

I'm even starting to forgive myself"

In difficult times, it's easy to be sucked into self-pity and consumed with fear.  There are times that things seem so unexplainable and yet our paths are already well defined.  I must remember it's not mine to understand but give it all to Him.  

"Not a tear is waisted, in time you'll understand.

I'm painting beauty with the ashes, your life is in my hands."

-Casting Crowns

How do I bring this total trust into leadership?  Relationships.  Relationships. Relationships.  I have learned from so many that you must earn trust and be open enough to share your situations.  I must serve those around me.  In doing so, I will build relationships that will flourish so when times of trouble present themselves, we can work through them together.  I value the relationships I have built this year through dad's words.  This blog has even strengthened relationships and created talking points that would never have happened without total transparency.

As we enter Holy Week, I pray for each of you on your own personal faith journey.  Understand that there are times of despair but finding scripture and holding on to relationships will get you through anything.

Dad's words say it all....

Ted Parker

February 21, 2013 · 

Winner winner chicken dinner .. I am officially back on my feet and even thoughI have several challenging days ahead I am grateful to all of you for your love and prayers so many friends family and prayer warriors all over the country supporting me was truly amazing! My kids and my wife Angie have been my rock to lean on and a fountain of overwhelming love . I appreciate each and everyone who came to my rescue I will always be grateful to you.

Ted Parker

March 5, 2013 · Richmond · 

THE GOOD NEWS IS THE NEWS CAN'T BE WORSE THAN WHAT HAS BEEN STATED. A NEW BATTLE BEGINS. I WILL ACCEPT ALL AND ANY PRAYER WARRIORS TO RIDE ALONG WITH ME. TOGETHER ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

Ted Parker

March 16, 2013 · Richmond · 

treatment 2 completed The mask is mentally challenging for me but I am not alone so all is good. Good Morning World JUST LOVE Ted

Ted Parker

March 22, 2013 · Richmond · 

No Fear Just Trust Love and Peace Good Morning World JUST LOVE TED

Just Love, 

Kirsten

Cultivating Leadership

"Ultimately, your leadership in a culture of change will be judged as effective or ineffective not by who you are as a leader but by what leadership you produce in others" (Fullan, 2001).

Dad always had a core set of employees he "raised." Many of them have gone on to lead in different stores throughout the surrounding states.  There were always two perspectives people had about dad's leadership: he's hard to work for or he has taught me everything. Working for dad and many new employees not knowing I was his daughter, allowed me to see his impact as a manager.  He worked for Elder Beerman for over 39 years and in my opinion was successful for many reasons.  

He always has the customer in mind.  He served his customers and taught those around him to serve as well.  It was always about meeting the customer's needs.  He often walked the floor and made jokes, all the while building relationships that would last a lifetime. If you didn't respect dad as a leader, you didn't value customer service.  He was quick to pick up on those that were there to clock in, collect pay, and leave.  The ones that didn't buy-in to his customer care, which often included floor sets, timely mark downs, constant straightening, and proactive approaches to everything with the customer in mind.  Ok-you get it...dad loved those who worked for him and those that shopped in his store.

What does all this have to do with cultivating leadership?  

I have just finished Michael Fullan's book, Leading in a Culture of Change. Anyone close to me understands that I am my dad's daughter.  I quickly picked up on customer service and had 19 wonderful years as a sales associate for Elder Beerman.  I loved serving my customers and building relationships.  It was not just a job for me, it was a passion.  One that I didn't pursue because of another calling to teach kids. I witnessed the struggles dad faced in leading as a retail manager.  I saw him miss times with us because of retail hours. I saw him do everything in his power to help those in need. I saw him struggle with stress of getting the job done correctly, when others failed to do their part. I saw him interact in the community to make Richmond a better place.  I saw him prepare others to lead. He served his community in so many other ways than store manager.  Now, I get to follow in his footsteps...

This summer, I get to learn in context.  I will be co-principal for RCS summer school. This provides an opportunity for me to model and mentor others.  As a school leader, it is imperative that I share the knowledge I have as an eLearning coach and continue modeling best practices of blended learning. This is so much more than an administrative position. This is my time to build deeper relationships, listen attentively to challenges, serve others in this changing world of education, and guide them with love, just as a shepherd. 

"2 The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice" (John 10:2-4). 

During the school year, there is so much time spent on processing information, solving problems, and meeting deadlines that there is little, if any, time to think. I feel this summer is an opportunity for our teachers to focus on their craft and pick an area for growth.  The end goal is to fill in the gaps for our students so they can be success in the next school year but also for our teachers' reflective practice.  I must be able to create and nurture an environment where our teachers can progressively learn how to do what they need to do.  I must focus on customer service. 

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Blended learning is something that is changing the way we deliver content.  Our teachers are at the gate, waiting to go out and explore, but they need someone they trust and can model what is expected of them.  This summer gives me a chance to cultivate leaders in blended learning, to form a core group of educators that can then go out to their building and lead others.  I look to dad for guidance and reflect on his leadership traits.  I continually follow God's plan as he presents opportunities for my own growth, both professionally and in my faith.  I'm thirsty for yet another challenge!

JUST LOVE what you do and find peace in His presence. Here is a song for this week's bible verse. 

Peace to you all!

Kirsten

In That Moment

Love, trust, strength, faith, but also fear filled me the morning of dad's surgery.  With family by his side throughout the week we knew this day was coming.  It was finally here and I was prepared.  Looking back, I could finally see what God was preparing me for and here it was: I needed to pray. We gathered in a room filled with love and uncertainty and in that moment it was my voice that spoke.

Rewind a couple years to a Friday morning when I was invited to join a prayer group at my school. Yes, even though many say prayer is not in schools, I'd like to smile and say how else are all these wonderful teachers making it through the day?  That's an entirely different post but here is what I found: I learned to pray.

My parents had created the foundation of faith and led by example. As adults, we have to come to this same confidence in faith to share with others, especially being in a room filled with multiple denominations.  Growing up Catholic, you learn prayers, you follow traditions, and you go through the motions.  Or so I thought.  I just needed a little push. I listened to many different prayers led by my friends and found so much more.  I learned how to pray.  I watched pray requests be denied but lessons learned.  I saw struggles with faith but growing relationships with Christ. I felt hands on me in some of the most darkest days. I saw total trust.  It's not that I didn't see this from my parents, I just saw it in a different way. God put these people in my life at just the right moment.

Back to the room.  We held hands, bowed our heads, and words flowed through me that were not my own.  I heard all my friends coming out of me.  The way they prayed was now how I prayed.  Through all our struggles, we had built relationships led by faith and prayer. All the while, God set actions in place years prior so I could stand there and pray. That prayer was filled with so much emotion that we hugged each other, tears flowing, but nothing left to say.  I was prepared and forever grateful to have the opportunity to lead in the most difficult situation I had ever been presented.

"Not for a moment, will you forsake me." A song lyric that comes to mind this morning from Meredith Andrews.  We are not on this journey of life alone.  Every action, every decision, every relationship is built with His love.  He is constant, always good, and sovereign.  In every situation he is ceaselessly working on our behalf. This is very important to remember when dealing with adversity.

As I continue on His path I have moments of clarity and moments of doubts.  I can instantly see when I've lost peace because I'm searching for something. In those moments, I try to find what it is that I need to work on.  This week I've been thinking on how to build morale as a leader.  Strong ethics and morals is the backbone of any leader.  I hear teachers telling students; "Do the right thing, even when no one is looking." Leading is no different.

Psalm 32:8 Created with Retype

We must be willing to lead with love.  "We must align our intentions with our actions and choose our behaviors" (James Hunter).  We must be willing to serve and sacrifice. Through these sacrifices, we EARN the authority to lead. When others see you model what you believe they begin to trust you moving forward. As a leader, I must bring all that I've learned as well as an established core set of values.  This week I've been reflecting on dad's journey, my relationships with others, and what core set of ethics/morals I need to be a successful leader. Just as my prayer group taught me, so do those around me.  I have been using every opportunity for growth and being the best I can be for those around me.

Trust, honesty, respect, collaboration, and reflection. This core set of values, and dad's words, JUST LOVE, I am eager to quench my thirst for leadership.  Trusting God has already laid the path and will introduce the right people and circumstances into my life at just the right moment.  Today, I am thankful for all of you and how you are helping on this journey.  It is no coincidence that you are reading this.  You are part of my journey and I am learning from you!

A special thanks to my former prayer group.  Change may have moved us apart but you all hold a special place in my heart, forever. God bless you and keep you safe and full of His spirit!