Productive struggle has been the term I’ve used multiple
times in conversations over the past few months. There was a comment that hit me hard before
our fall break at school, “You seemed to have checked out.” Bam! Sucker punch to the stomach of a servant
leader. Instant failure turned
reflection in a moment. So, I went back
and read Fullan. Why had my leadership
changed in the perspective of one of my staff members? Is this the perspective of many or just a
few. I could feel myself under distress
but why? There is always a price to pay in servant leadership, but from
experience the benefits are enduring.
Pitching has to be one of the most stressful positions on a team. All eyes are on you every play and the expectation is to hit your spot, every time. When learning new pitches, there has to be trial and error and the only time that opportunity presents itself is on the mound, during a game. You put the work in at practice, you trust the coach and refinements, and then you try your best during the game. Sometimes you are allowed to throw through the struggle and sometimes you’re pulled to save the game. Gut punch, to the stomach, when you’re taken out in front of everyone and realize your mistakes. What do you do next? Trust the process. Go back to your coach, learn from the mistakes, refine your skills, throw, throw, and throw some more and realize it’s not about being the best; it’s about being better than yesterday. Trust the process, persevere during the productive struggle and then endure the benefits. Get the win.
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| Addie pitching for Richmond Jazz 07 |
As I read through my notes from Fullan, I found this; discontent
is seen as a potential source of new ideas and break throughs. The absence of conflict could be a sign of
decay. So, are we in the middle of
productive struggle where perseverance will outlast the persecution? How do I
maintain a culture where sharing struggles and celebrating success in risk
taking becomes the norm? How do I ensure
our risks and attempts at risks are free of judgment and full of support? Stay the course. Coaching cycles have been offered and set to
support teachers. PD has been designed to
push us into this productive struggle and to move. We cannot stand idle and continue to do
things how we have always done them.
This year of my leadership has been the largest shift in asking teachers
to change their practice. With that
comes the discontent. We are moving
therefore we are questioning our own practices and becoming reflective. Gut punch, discontent, blame, stress,
anxiety, loss of trust…
So what do we do when we come to the realization that we are
not ok? We talk about self-care. It must be that we are taking care of
everyone else and allowing our own needs to fall off. I’ve struggled with this for many years as a
leader. I don’t know that I would call
it a struggle but more of a healer.
When I began this journey, I had just lost my dad. Jumping into something new and focusing on
everyone else made it easy to put the grieving aside. If my focus could maintain on everyone else’s
needs, then I wouldn’t have time to let my feelings creep in. Fast forward 3 years, when the quiet times in
your mid begin to increase because the day in and day out of this job becomes
routine and fluid. Self-care, let things
go, hit the pause button, are all suggestions I’ve been given to deal with
these emotions that come with leading a building and still grieving. This post-secondary trauma people talk about
is real and needs to be dealt with correctly.
So how? In all things that I’ve
read, prayed about, searched for, and asked others is the one thing no one ever
says…it’s about putting total trust in Jesus, the ability to give it all to
Him.
In quietness and trust is Your strength; not self-care but
consolation. During anxious moments, we
turn inward and look at ourselves and the problem. We must not condemn ourselves when we hit
hard times, but thank God instead. God
gives us empathy, help, compassion, comfort, relief, encouragement,
reassurance, help or consolation during these times. When we step away from God
is when we open the door to feel the discomfort of anxiety. Maybe what has been missing in the process or
the course, this whole time, is the ability to see/feel the blessings. When we focus on the problem, the struggle
and discontent, we don’t see the
blessing in the middle of the storm and we continue to struggle.
It’s the small moments, the little wins: the drop ball that finally
hits the spot, the responsive lesson that deviated from the given, and the realization
that any day can be a good day because of God’s presence. All things are gifts from God: health, family, talent, leadership, friendship, peace….even the process and course. The process and course have been laid for us,
it is our daily commitment to see His will in our day and to be thankful for
what we have been given. We must reflect
on our choices, thoughts, and actions and determine if we are living for Him or
for our own intentions. I allowed my
course to be rerouted and I’m working on it.
I will stay the course and trust the process because it is His.
As we move into a month filled with gratitude, I challenge
you to begin journaling what you are thankful for every day. Try to find 3 new things, every day, to be
thankful for and give Him praise. What’s
on your course? Are you in the middle of
a process that seems to be failing? Find
the little wins and celebrate them and walk away from that negative self-talk
that can fill your mind. I’ll be praying
with you my friends!
One of my favorites from mass and a good reminder.
May you appreciate life, find peace, and Just Love!
Kirsten
Verses for this blog:
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.” Psalm 103:1-5
When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94: 18-19
Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they celebrate your righteousness. Psalm 89: 15-16
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4: 6-7
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