I Hate Turkey

 Yep, you read that correctly; I hate turkey.  Actually, Thanksgiving is not even one of my top 3 holidays anymore.  There once was a time I thrived during the month of November.  That moment hit me yesterday while walking in Dillards.  Remember that Aromatique  potpourri and air spray that smelled like a Christmas tree.  Here, let me help you remember:

Funny how a smell can instantly put you in a moment.  I was there yesterday.  That smell put me right back to Black Friday. (Many posts about my love/hate relationship with this time are found on this thread, go take a peek!) I embraced the moment and looked for the memories.  No Christmas music yet and very limited decorations were up.  I did run into a former EB employee and shared a moment about the holidays being different after losing someone.  Sitting at that Clinique counter, I listened as the stranger tried to sell me different things, that I once pushed from her side of the counter.  I laughed inside, knowing that was me and how my path changed over the years.  As an early 20 something, you feel like you can take on the world and do anything.  I guess I was an old soul because I chose to use my degree and serve my home community by teaching.  I don't live in the past and am thankful for the trajectory my path has taken but I do wonder what it would have been like to not be scared. 

As a building level leader, you make multiple decisions throughout the day and many have to be in the moment.  You must be able to process your words and actions quickly, while maintaining ethics and an overall moral purpose.  If you know me today and have seen my quick response to the everchanging education system, you would never have guessed I passed up an opportunity to be an educational consultant with Clinic.  Why did I pass up something I loved?  

1. I had just graduated BSU with my BS and was working 2 jobs and knew I had to serve kids, not adults. (funny, right?)

2. I was scared to fly.  That position required travel to NY once a month. Something most people would love to do but did not sit well with my soul.  

I left that store thinking about all the memories of EB and dad.  It's amazing how your spirit heals when you lose someone.  The faith that you will be with them again seems to take the daily hurt away.  Until these moments happen and then connections occur over and over, often linked to a special day; Thanksgiving.   So many emotions flowing as I drove home from Richmond and the perfect song came on the radio.  If you've never felt a praise and worship song I challenge you to take a moment to listen to Oceans.  

Never do I push my faith on others but I do live my faith, moral purpose, very outwardly.  This month has been about pouring my heart into my people and listening to how I can move my building.  We must keep growing but no one is going to take on anything else unless they feel vested.  I am still building relationships and learning teaching styles.  I'm connecting to my peers and learning where my voice falls in the decision process.  It's an undertaking for sure but one I am loving.  I am excited to say I get to serve these wonderful educators.  This journey all falls back on my faith and the strength I gain by serving.  The kids are learning my word through my actions while the teachers watch alongside them.  It's a chance to establish the culture of trust.  My feet may be deep in the water but my trust in the professionals I serve is unbounding.  

Michael Fullan is one of my favorite authors I read while earning my administrative license.  He has many quotes on the systems of change.  According to Fullan:

     When the individual soul is connected to the organization, people become connected to something         deeper-the desire to contribute to a larger purpose, to feel they are part of a greater whole, a web of         connection.

I can only hope, with time, that our school culture is one of trust, respect, academic achievement and continued growth.  We have a great start as I walked into a high-functioning system.  My role is to now build capacity and support the work.  My friend said it best last night; it's not about telling someone to change, it's about allowing them time to grow.  We have to stop relying on a program to fix our kids when we have professionals that will do their best to raise these future leaders, and support them in their efforts.  It's about collective efficacy. 

I hate turkey.  Good thing Thanksgiving is not just about the turkey! As I cook my first turkey in 44 years, I am filled with gratitude for the work that is being done.  While there is more ahead, the focus is on relationships, clarity, and results.  My cup was filled when I was able to catch up with those that have played an integral role of my leadership.  I can't wait to hear more from their retirement journeys and new pathways.  I am the lone building level leader out of them all and know my path is still serving students and teachers.  

That brief moment, the smell of the Aromatique, put my mind in a spiral of all the new and missing the old.  What a beautiful life we live, if we take the time to recognize where we came from, where we are going but staying in the moment.  Live today to the fullest;  make the call, mend the relationship, or just be present. I will not be Black Friday shopping but I am confident someone above me is relaxing on this busy retail day!  I wish you a day filled with peace, love and a gratitude.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just Love, 

Kirsten

Clinique Crew circa 2009
Dad during Holiday Season

Wisdom Brings Friendship

Today embarks a new journey for a true friend, and I can't be prouder of her path.  I couldn't sleep and was driven to share our story.  Many times the people that touch our lives, both professionally and personally, come by the grace of God.  That's our story; connections over wisdom.

I started as a shoe salesman at Elder-Beerman and I remember Vicki and her family shopping for shoes.  We had a casual conversation about teaching at RCS and that was my first encounter with the Saynes.  Jump forward 12 years and you can find me in my office, as a first year principal, on the floor in total dismay.  No one prepares you for what you don't know in a new position.  I had recently had Stone, lost my dad, started my admin license and earned the position of building leader.  My anxiety took over and God decided he was going to insert a few people that would guide me, teach me, and model true passion for living a life of Wisdom.  

The wisdom Vicki shared was full circle.  She shared clarity with me over several things that had been her role over the past 20-some years.  I listened, followed, reflected, challenged, and above all else connected with a beautiful soul.  A gift of a friend, at just the right time, that shared many ups and downs over the past 7 years.  Wisdom comes in many forms but hers was love.

Vicki loved her job, she had a passion to serve the most challenging behaviors I have seen, and her reflection, research, resources, and true grit to dive down to the meaning of the communication is what I admired.  Her willingness to try, over and over again, to connect with a student met my urgency of how to serve.  It's not a popular opinion, let me tell you, but it's how I knew I was going to lead.  Every voice needed to be heard, every obstacle had a solution, when it didn't work-modify, and above all else; look at each kid as your own. We shared a core value that brought us together; our faith. 

I could go on forever about how we collectively tackled hard conversations with parents, students and teachers.  We shared many bus rides, CPI holds, restorative conversations, and brought Yoga and mindfulness to school before SEL was even a term.  She taught me the importance of organizing ISTEP manuals, understanding my role in an IEP meeting, writing behavior plans and measurable goals,  being proactive instead of reactive, but most importantly; how to accept help. 

You don't know, what you don't know, until it hits you in the face.  Vicki wrapped her arms around me, many times, when life dealt the hardest blows.  When anxiety took hold, she would sit on the phone with me, all hours of the night, to bring rational decisions to the forefront.  We shared vulnerability and how faith will restore.  We grieved in that office.  We laughed in that office.  We loved in that office.  We created a life-long friendship in that office on Reeveston.

To say I'm proud is an understatement.  When I was making the decision to leave RCS, Vicki shared every step of the way.  It's scary to leave people, like Vicki, that molded my leadership.  We vowed to keep in touch and to stay in each others lives no matter where life took us.  Vicki has touched not only my life but many admins, students, parents and teachers over that past 3 decades. There were countless times that parents thanked her for the work she did in advocating for student needs.  The work that was behind the scenes and not always celebrated.  That is Vicki; a humble human that would do anything for anyone at anytime.  

So today, she clocks in and out one last time.  Retirement is finally here!  She has a beautiful grandchild to fill her soul after so many children shared that space. Now she will share her wisdom in different ways and her void will be very difficult to fill.  I am blessed to have met and worked with Vicki.  I look forward to continuing our journey from a new perspective.  

Vicki- cheers to all the laughs, tears, struggles, victories, successes and love that we have shared!  Go out and share that smile with the ones you love.  I am so proud of your accomplishments and today is just the beginning.  Today may be emotional but there will be joy in the morning!    Congratulations on a job well done!  He is smiling from above as your work has touched so many.  Love you sista! 

A song that keeps me going and would love to share with all those that serve His wisdom and love: 

A moment to always remember; just listen to the laughs we share! 

Character Counts

 It's a warm June day and I am transitioning between two districts.  I have to take the time to reflect what I've learned and where I'm going.  It's been a rough few months but it's all perspective.  In this entire life, these moments that seem so significant are only the tests before we reach our final destination.  I've met many people that have also had significance in this moment of a journey that have helped this reflection.  The one thing that I know is that character counts.  It's that line that we tell all our kids in front of us, "do the right thing, even when no one is looking."  It matters.

A few months back, during basketball season, I had a phone call from Stone's principal.  You answer when the principal calls, no matter what you're doing.  She announced her retirement at the board that night and was eager to help me find my way to Fayette Central.  I will say I always thought I'd end up there, just not this early.  I listened and reflected on an opportunity to bring me closer to home and to a high performing school with a lot of similarities to Charles.  So, I applied.

Then the wait.  You don't tell the people you love that you're leaving them unless it's 100%.  So I carried on, for what seemed like an eternity, before the interview process began.  Never in my mind did I doubt that I would attain the job.  There is one thing that my dad taught me well; positivity in all that you do.  So I went in with the mindset that the job was mine and every conversation I had I knew I would be moving.  Then, I loved them through it.

Every day I greet staff and students by name.  I've known the names of my 4th grade group for 5 years.  This was going to be the hardest part of leaving.  I needed them to help me through this time.  I needed them to know this had nothing to do with them or the school or even the craziness that was going on in the district.  (ok, maybe some of the craziness made it easier) I needed them to know this was about me. This was my growth.  This was me knowing they were in great hands and everyone is replaceable.  Read that again; EVERYONE is replaceable.  So while I also knew those that respected my leadership would have a moment, I was fully aware there were others that would have no problem with moving to new leadership.  That's ok; because I have never led the building to create friends, I led them with love and to build on their capacity.  I cared for them all, but ultimately it has always been about student achievement/growth and culture.  I'm leaving behind a high-functioning school with phenomenal people.  Leaving is hard but I'm confident they need this change as much as I do. 

Then the proposal.  Well, let's just say an offer.  My worth and character speak far to highly to go into detail, but I must say no money or title will ever define me.  My character counts.  I also know and understand that not everyone functions in that same capacity and some have to do what is needed, for the time.  I highly respect my peers and will always support them.  That is what you do; the right thing when no one is looking.  You pray, put your faith that His blessings continue and you move on.

I remember my dad telling me he hated me driving to Richmond.  My mom continues to tell me that yet is now sad I'm not right up the road.  Richmond was my home.  Richmond has been my career for 20 years.  When the spirit says go, you must listen.  I am a firm believer that our paths are presented to us and our free will takes us where we choose to go.  If something is right and is His will, the transition is peaceful and down right easy.  

So now I get to take my learning and share it with a new family.  I am so eager to get to know my people but I have respect to allow them to enjoy their summer.  As soon as the time is right, I'm going to share my story.  That's how we start; slow.  We share our stories and listen, watch and learn.  There are so many things I want to know and get started but my pause button is on.  It's critical they all know my character and my word.  If I say it, I practice it.  Summer break reminds me of a long Sunday afternoon; time to sharpen the saw.

So now my adventure begins.  I'm coming home to be more present.  I only have this one life and it's time to spread my peace and love with a new set of stakeholders.  I wonder what dad would say to this change.  He would know my heart and be proud of my accomplishments.  He also would remind me that he stepped down from a district leadership position to be there for us.  He demoted himself.  It was not about money or title; it was about love. While I am definitely not being demoted, I look at this transition as a time to take on new peers and learning.  A time to hone in on my craft and become a stronger instructional leader.  I feel this is the transition to prepare me for the next path.  It's another opportunity to  support, build capacity, and love teachers and students.  It's a time to walk slowly through a new crowd. 

The family and I walked the building the other night.  So much history that I don't know yet but can't wait to learn. So much potential to support the great things already happening. A new place to call home.  The one thing I can hope for is that my Hornet staff gives me grace, takes a risk on a new leadership style, and begins to grow as a new family.  My character counts and I promise to always be true to my faith and how I treat people.  Everything else will fall in place....

Just Love, 

Kirsten

Love Them Through It

 Never in my dreams would I believe what the role of principal encompasses.  Just like teacher prep programs, there are case studies and "in-theory" discussions that help prepare you for the day and life of a principal, but not until you deal with loss do you really understand your purpose.

I've been challenged recently with my motto, Just Love.  As you've followed me on my journey, you have seen a pretty consistent path of safe moves, calm demeanor, and passion to build capacity in others through servant leadership.  Buzzwords kill the impact of your purpose when people misuse the phrases you aspire to become. There are many that talk the talk but not until you see and feel staff hurting and struggling do you analyze if you're walking the walk. 

Leadership is not just management, academic success, culture, climate, finance, transportation, assessment... it's relationships.  It's the most critical piece in leadership, building strong relationships with everyone you meet.  Leaders must build and equip the boat big enough for all to enter and row, together.  No one stays in the front and when the oar breaks, others lend theirs until you can get a new one.  For me, it's not just building a relationship, it's seeing the good and finding love for each person you meet.  This world needs more love. 

Today my staff is grieving a colleague.  No one prepares you how to lead through that.  No one.  My spirit is guided by how I can just love them.  What do they need?  How can I create an environment that is safe to cry, embrace the reality, feel loved, and to acknowledge it's ok to feel emotion with kids.  How do we talk to our 4th graders that lost a teacher, with the possibility this may be the first death they have ever experienced? How do you lead through this storm?

My dad's death, again, has prepared me for this moment as a leader.  Ironically his birthday is next week and he's been on my mind a lot.  I've seen a friend struggling with the loss of her father, and I've been reliving my emotions.  I remember being where she is and it hurts.  Now, I will have an entire staff to navigate and love to ensure their emotions are heard and felt. 

I also know with death comes life.  This week will be a blessing.  A very close friend will be delivering a baby on the birthday of another close friend, that will be celebrating the bittersweet anniversary of her baby girl.  Life's journey puts all the right people in your path at just the right time.  That's why when a door opens, never question God's push; listen and go.  He is guiding all of these situations as we live moment by moment.  I will love them all through it, while knowing it looks different for each circumstance.

My outlet has always been to write and take pictures.  It drives my family, and I'm sure my staff, crazy.  This life is so precious and I want to be able to celebrate every moment. I miss the guidance my dad provided, but I feel I am living his ultimate legacy by leading through the lens of love.  So while it may not be the most popular leadership style it is the one I chose to live.  Just love, live in peace, and celebrate this life we've been given.  Find your passion, live your dream and don't settle for less!  

We all watched Janet put up the strongest fight for her family and students.  Her passion was to teach.  What a fierce colleague we have all lost.  May her family and our Charles family feel the love and support over the days to come. 

Well done, Janet! 

Just Love, 

Kirsten

In memory of Janet Day; 2nd grade teacher at Charles Elementary