"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt's quote is from a Christmas gift I received a month ago. Who knows who it's from because it was left on my desk among packages gathered throughout the busy day. A day that was filled with love, business, and the excitement to see family and friends. A day I would gladly go back after the past 72 hours.
A month later, that gift was found in my room and a reminder that today was just that... a thing I did that I wish I never had to do. There's not a class on how to lead through grief. There's not a script for every situation that presents itself during the days after losing a friend, colleague, mom, teacher, sister, daughter, wife, and wonderful human. There are no words for the family that's surviving in the moment. The young aide who's lost a mother figure. The teacher down the hall that depends on those morning conversations. The friend who has been navigating health issues over the years and advocating for answers. There's no class for any of it.
This is not the first time leading a staff through utter sadness. This time is different; unexpected, abrupt, and down right hard. You are the right person to lead them out of the darkness, I was told. Dad would have agreed. He always thought I was great with relationships and easy to talk to. I have a way with people because I'm authentic and my compassion is real. You are thinking of people you've worked for or with that, the words lose meaning quickly because actions don't match. It's sad but we all have learned from these people. Some more than others.
But I didn't have to lead anything today. Today, Kellie's stories lead the day. The sharing started in the office and continued in the library. I listened. Tears flowed as the reality set in. We prayed. The confusion of how to manage kids' emotions while we grieve were real. We love. The connection with the family and letting them know how special she was; we embraced. The past 2 days have been filled with reflections of how Kellie lived her life and how she treated each of us and there was one common theme: love.
Did you come here for the Taylor reference or the fact that it is New Year's Day? Those that know me well have watched the journey of TS music with Addie over the past 2 years. This Christmas, I put all our memories in a shadow box for her to relive whenever she wants. I also wrote letters to each of my family members because why not say what your heart leads you to? It's just another card/letter from mom but to me, it's a moment in time that they can look back and reflect on the life we built together and the love we shared.
I read a quote from one of my teacher's Facebook posts, and it snapped me back into reality: Earth is the closest place to Hell we will ever have to live. Ponder that one for a moment.
I started this blog to reflect on my purpose and outwardly live my faith. Life is made of moments, but even our best moments pale in comparison to the glory of Heaven. It brings me back to the bigger purpose we each have—the reason we were placed on this Earth. This is where faith takes root, even as our understanding fades. My perspective on why and how things happen is based on experiences, as I’m sure yours is too. Yet, we’ve all had moments that make us wonder why we were placed in a particular situation.
When people ask if I enjoy being a principal, my response is always the same: it’s my calling. I was called to this role, just as I was called to be Scott’s wife and Stone and Addie’s mom. Nothing in life happens by chance. So, why wouldn’t our most cherished memories feel closer to the trials of Earth than the perfection of Heaven? It’s because our understanding is limited. The gift of eternal life—the joy of Heaven—will surpass anything we could ever preserve, even our best Taylor Swift moment tucked away in a shadow box.
Many bible verses remind us that our time here counts. So yes, make the memories, live out your purpose, and be full of Jesus' love. A few of my favorites:
John 10: Jesus tells us how He is the good shepherd and "I came so that they could have life — indeed, so that they could have life to the fullest". (John 10:10)
Jeremiah 29: Let go and let God- a phrase that comes from Jeremiah 29:11 where God reminds us that he does not bring on failure or struggle, but with these moments comes strength in our faith. Because God said, “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Then there's Ecclesiastes which gives us scripture to enjoy life to the fullest, under the fear of God. All our actions will have accountability, therefore your free will is ultimately your life's book. What is written on those pages matter. Your purpose matters. Your morning and nighttime actions, matter. (Ecclesiastes 11:9-10) Is what we have done, enough?
Just love- 9 years ago this week we lost a great man. This is the first year, since he's been gone, that I have not cycled into an anxiety mess of grief over the holidays. It's how we choose to move forward, what we write on those pages, and how we live out our purpose. Do I miss him? Oh, so much! Is his spirit guiding me and protecting me? I sure do hope so!
If someone asked me if I like being a principal, I would say it's my calling. But if you ask me on a deeper level, I would say I never wanted to be here. When I say it's a calling and all the stars aligned that is exactly what happened. I took a path I didn’t even know I was meant to follow—a journey that transformed my uncertainties into something extraordinary. It’s a path that illuminated the darkness and filled my heart with a love deeper than I ever thought possible. It’s God’s plan—one that has brought me several stories and opportunities to live by faith, not by sight.
So what are your plans for 2025? Are you on a pathway that is faced with uncertainty, anxiety, or hopelessness? Hold tight to His promise, fill your mind with scripture, and be open to new opportunities. You never know when God's timeline shifts, new relationships form, or callings grow. I am always excited to deep dive into faith and career pathways. If that is a conversation you want to have, shoot me a message!
Happy New Year!
Just Love,
Kirsten
Enjoy a great listen from Taylor Swift: New Year's Day
"Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you. I will hold on to you."
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