I Hate Turkey

 Yep, you read that correctly; I hate turkey.  Actually, Thanksgiving is not even one of my top 3 holidays anymore.  There once was a time I thrived during the month of November.  That moment hit me yesterday while walking in Dillards.  Remember that Aromatique  potpourri and air spray that smelled like a Christmas tree.  Here, let me help you remember:

Funny how a smell can instantly put you in a moment.  I was there yesterday.  That smell put me right back to Black Friday. (Many posts about my love/hate relationship with this time are found on this thread, go take a peek!) I embraced the moment and looked for the memories.  No Christmas music yet and very limited decorations were up.  I did run into a former EB employee and shared a moment about the holidays being different after losing someone.  Sitting at that Clinique counter, I listened as the stranger tried to sell me different things, that I once pushed from her side of the counter.  I laughed inside, knowing that was me and how my path changed over the years.  As an early 20 something, you feel like you can take on the world and do anything.  I guess I was an old soul because I chose to use my degree and serve my home community by teaching.  I don't live in the past and am thankful for the trajectory my path has taken but I do wonder what it would have been like to not be scared. 

As a building level leader, you make multiple decisions throughout the day and many have to be in the moment.  You must be able to process your words and actions quickly, while maintaining ethics and an overall moral purpose.  If you know me today and have seen my quick response to the everchanging education system, you would never have guessed I passed up an opportunity to be an educational consultant with Clinic.  Why did I pass up something I loved?  

1. I had just graduated BSU with my BS and was working 2 jobs and knew I had to serve kids, not adults. (funny, right?)

2. I was scared to fly.  That position required travel to NY once a month. Something most people would love to do but did not sit well with my soul.  

I left that store thinking about all the memories of EB and dad.  It's amazing how your spirit heals when you lose someone.  The faith that you will be with them again seems to take the daily hurt away.  Until these moments happen and then connections occur over and over, often linked to a special day; Thanksgiving.   So many emotions flowing as I drove home from Richmond and the perfect song came on the radio.  If you've never felt a praise and worship song I challenge you to take a moment to listen to Oceans.  

Never do I push my faith on others but I do live my faith, moral purpose, very outwardly.  This month has been about pouring my heart into my people and listening to how I can move my building.  We must keep growing but no one is going to take on anything else unless they feel vested.  I am still building relationships and learning teaching styles.  I'm connecting to my peers and learning where my voice falls in the decision process.  It's an undertaking for sure but one I am loving.  I am excited to say I get to serve these wonderful educators.  This journey all falls back on my faith and the strength I gain by serving.  The kids are learning my word through my actions while the teachers watch alongside them.  It's a chance to establish the culture of trust.  My feet may be deep in the water but my trust in the professionals I serve is unbounding.  

Michael Fullan is one of my favorite authors I read while earning my administrative license.  He has many quotes on the systems of change.  According to Fullan:

     When the individual soul is connected to the organization, people become connected to something         deeper-the desire to contribute to a larger purpose, to feel they are part of a greater whole, a web of         connection.

I can only hope, with time, that our school culture is one of trust, respect, academic achievement and continued growth.  We have a great start as I walked into a high-functioning system.  My role is to now build capacity and support the work.  My friend said it best last night; it's not about telling someone to change, it's about allowing them time to grow.  We have to stop relying on a program to fix our kids when we have professionals that will do their best to raise these future leaders, and support them in their efforts.  It's about collective efficacy. 

I hate turkey.  Good thing Thanksgiving is not just about the turkey! As I cook my first turkey in 44 years, I am filled with gratitude for the work that is being done.  While there is more ahead, the focus is on relationships, clarity, and results.  My cup was filled when I was able to catch up with those that have played an integral role of my leadership.  I can't wait to hear more from their retirement journeys and new pathways.  I am the lone building level leader out of them all and know my path is still serving students and teachers.  

That brief moment, the smell of the Aromatique, put my mind in a spiral of all the new and missing the old.  What a beautiful life we live, if we take the time to recognize where we came from, where we are going but staying in the moment.  Live today to the fullest;  make the call, mend the relationship, or just be present. I will not be Black Friday shopping but I am confident someone above me is relaxing on this busy retail day!  I wish you a day filled with peace, love and a gratitude.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just Love, 

Kirsten

Clinique Crew circa 2009
Dad during Holiday Season

Wisdom Brings Friendship

Today embarks a new journey for a true friend, and I can't be prouder of her path.  I couldn't sleep and was driven to share our story.  Many times the people that touch our lives, both professionally and personally, come by the grace of God.  That's our story; connections over wisdom.

I started as a shoe salesman at Elder-Beerman and I remember Vicki and her family shopping for shoes.  We had a casual conversation about teaching at RCS and that was my first encounter with the Saynes.  Jump forward 12 years and you can find me in my office, as a first year principal, on the floor in total dismay.  No one prepares you for what you don't know in a new position.  I had recently had Stone, lost my dad, started my admin license and earned the position of building leader.  My anxiety took over and God decided he was going to insert a few people that would guide me, teach me, and model true passion for living a life of Wisdom.  

The wisdom Vicki shared was full circle.  She shared clarity with me over several things that had been her role over the past 20-some years.  I listened, followed, reflected, challenged, and above all else connected with a beautiful soul.  A gift of a friend, at just the right time, that shared many ups and downs over the past 7 years.  Wisdom comes in many forms but hers was love.

Vicki loved her job, she had a passion to serve the most challenging behaviors I have seen, and her reflection, research, resources, and true grit to dive down to the meaning of the communication is what I admired.  Her willingness to try, over and over again, to connect with a student met my urgency of how to serve.  It's not a popular opinion, let me tell you, but it's how I knew I was going to lead.  Every voice needed to be heard, every obstacle had a solution, when it didn't work-modify, and above all else; look at each kid as your own. We shared a core value that brought us together; our faith. 

I could go on forever about how we collectively tackled hard conversations with parents, students and teachers.  We shared many bus rides, CPI holds, restorative conversations, and brought Yoga and mindfulness to school before SEL was even a term.  She taught me the importance of organizing ISTEP manuals, understanding my role in an IEP meeting, writing behavior plans and measurable goals,  being proactive instead of reactive, but most importantly; how to accept help. 

You don't know, what you don't know, until it hits you in the face.  Vicki wrapped her arms around me, many times, when life dealt the hardest blows.  When anxiety took hold, she would sit on the phone with me, all hours of the night, to bring rational decisions to the forefront.  We shared vulnerability and how faith will restore.  We grieved in that office.  We laughed in that office.  We loved in that office.  We created a life-long friendship in that office on Reeveston.

To say I'm proud is an understatement.  When I was making the decision to leave RCS, Vicki shared every step of the way.  It's scary to leave people, like Vicki, that molded my leadership.  We vowed to keep in touch and to stay in each others lives no matter where life took us.  Vicki has touched not only my life but many admins, students, parents and teachers over that past 3 decades. There were countless times that parents thanked her for the work she did in advocating for student needs.  The work that was behind the scenes and not always celebrated.  That is Vicki; a humble human that would do anything for anyone at anytime.  

So today, she clocks in and out one last time.  Retirement is finally here!  She has a beautiful grandchild to fill her soul after so many children shared that space. Now she will share her wisdom in different ways and her void will be very difficult to fill.  I am blessed to have met and worked with Vicki.  I look forward to continuing our journey from a new perspective.  

Vicki- cheers to all the laughs, tears, struggles, victories, successes and love that we have shared!  Go out and share that smile with the ones you love.  I am so proud of your accomplishments and today is just the beginning.  Today may be emotional but there will be joy in the morning!    Congratulations on a job well done!  He is smiling from above as your work has touched so many.  Love you sista! 

A song that keeps me going and would love to share with all those that serve His wisdom and love: 

A moment to always remember; just listen to the laughs we share!