Broken Shells

 A recent trip to the beaches of Fort Morgan sent me into a deep dive of metaphors. Do you ever look at something and think, God wants me to see this?  As we walked up and down the beach, all we saw were large broken shells.  The red flags were out and the wave swells were near 6 foot.  No wonder the shells were broken, you couldn't step foot in the ocean without holding tight with your toes.  Then, Stone reached down and found an almost perfect sand dollar.  A little broken but so beautiful, like a prize.  But what about all these broken shells?  How do they impact my current situation and why do I keep hearing "bent but never broken," the sticker on the front of my laptop?

I watched my mother spend hours walking the beaches looking for the perfect shells.  She would be gone and come back with a plastic bag filled with the perfect shells.  These still live in her Florida room at her home.  Memories with my family and especially my dad.  They spent many years at Tradewinds, finding shells together and walking those beaches.  Back then, Addie was little and we spent more time by the pool than we did on the beach.  I loved the beach but the pool always had more to offer for the kids.  I never thought I would find peace in looking for shells as I did this past break.  But I wasn't looking for the perfect ones, just the beauty. 

God's beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.  I've been intentionally slowing down to see it.  I don't want to miss anything from the sunrise to the sunset.  I have an abundant amount of pictures of His beautiful pictures he painted while there.  I noticed the colors of the trees, the clear skies with white puffy clouds, the smell of Fall on the beach, the emptiness of Buc-ees as we stopped for our favorite foods, the conversations with long-time friends, new restaurants without the long waits, and the screen door that could stay open for the Fall temps in the bedroom.  None of these are by chance, it's all a blessing that we get to have these experiences.  I caught myself saying, thank you Jesus, so many times.  Even for the broken shells.

As I reflected on those shells later, I shared with Meshella what God was showing me and what my next blog was going to be about.  The craziness that if I picked up a shell and put it back, what if that was the goal of a washed up shell.  To be placed on the mantel or in a display in our homes, kind of like Toy story.  Ridiculous right? What if those shells represented my people.  I can't go anywhere without thinking about the ones I serve.  Your people become an extension of your family and they all play a role in your life.  Their stories become intertwined with yours and their struggles and brokenness are carried with you.  Those broken shells became the beauty of their stories.  

It was clear, I wasn't looking for the perfect shell just like I don't need the perfect teacher, student, or staff.  None of us are perfect and those shells became that metaphor for me.  Find the beauty in the brokenness.  Fill in the gaps with love and compassion to complete the shell.  This led me to Psalm 34: 18-19.  This psalm, written by David, is an expression of thanksgiving for God's protection and care for those who trust in him. 

Unstoppable faith.  A sermon from Pastor Bill not too long ago, came to mind. Every good gift comes from God.  We all will struggle with letting go of our mortality to trust immortality.  We are not of this world.  The brokenness that causes us to serve ourself or find self-help is what we have to release for a deeper understanding that God has it all written.  That's when my prayers shifted from asking to thanking Him.  I still find myself struggling to pray this way, but this trip had me thanking God for the little glimpses of beauty around me.  Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9- We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 

How does this all connect to those broken shells?  The things of this world are transient and while our bodies are wasting away, our inner self is being renewed so that we are ready for glory beyond comparison.  Those broken shells hold stories we’ll never know, much like the people around us every day.  It is our role to point people to Jesus.  If I can look at those shells as a talking point with this blog and in conversations, I am spreading grace that may increase thanksgiving to and the glory of God. Those broken shells reminded me that in our cracks and imperfections, God’s light shines through, that’s where His glory lives.

I continued my walks, looking for His beauty among all the broken shells.  Then the most Godly thing happened, I found a perfect sand dollar resting on top of a pile of broken shells.  If that wasn't God showing His power by placing the most delicate shell above the crushed and  hardened ones. The one shell that has a connection to the birth and crucifixion of Jesus.  There He was, the affirmation I needed to write my story.  My Fall Break story, where I sat quietly and looked/listened for Him.  I needed that rest in Him.  And there he was, in the middle of all the brokenness.  

Oh, Well...

 After a powerful service on Sunday, I mentioned to my daughter that my phrase for the week was going to be, "Oh, well." By 9:00 AM Monday, I had already said it five times. Life in administration means hundreds of decisions flying at you every day. Some things are out of your control, others are simply opinions about your leadership. In my ADHD brain, all of it wants to spiral. But it really comes down to perspective and faith. Not holding on to control and living by faith.

September 20th’s Jesus Calling laid the “Oh, well” mentality out clearly: don’t be burdened by petty cares and frustrations. Most of what causes worry isn’t important and can be shrugged off. That way, when a serious decision comes, you’ll still have the energy and mental capacity to face it. As Paul wrote, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Corinthians 4:17).

So when the lunch sheets weren’t printed Monday morning… oh, well.
When I had to meet with someone who openly expressed displeasure with my leadership… oh, well.
When the urinal water was boiling hot (and I still don’t want to know how anyone figured that out!)… oh, well.
When nine staff members were out on a Monday… oh, well.

By mid-morning, I had every reason to spiral. Instead, I kept saying oh, well and moved on. And guess what? By 11:00, I had finished all nine things on my to-do list and covered the office. If I had wasted energy on little frustrations, my whole day would have been swallowed up in worry that didn’t deserve my time.

Oh, well.

Let's go a little deeper, shall we?  I must realize that God is on the throne and knows how it's all going to work out.  The bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 that He is going to prosper me and give me hope and a future.  So why do I allow my health anxiety creep in at its own convenience?  Cut it off, says Micah during service this week.  That phone that's always in my hand...lay it down.  A lot of the worry comes directly from Dr. Google and all the online docs out there that have their own opinions.  

One thing that stuck with me this week was the phrase; it's going to make you stumble.  Isn't it better to stumble on Earth than to give up eternity? If the spirit is poking at you, listen.  Some things cause a reaction, like the comment about my leadership.  That's not the spirit poking me, that's the enemy stirring.  Don't react, pray, and move on.  Oh, well.  

Here’s the bigger truth: all these daily acts I do? On their own, they’re nothing.

Let that sink in.  

In the big scheme of things, Romans 4:1-8 tells us that salvation is by faith and not works.  I "do" works all day long.  It's how I lead with love. I am a "doer." How do I go deeper in my faith through my actions when actions don't get me to salvation?  

Really confusing, right?  

Righteousness is a gift, it cannot be earned.  This is where I am in my understanding.  So yes, I’ll keep leading, serving, and doing my best—but not because it saves me. I’ll do it out of gratitude for the One who already saved me.

At the end of the day, it isn’t about what I accomplish, but about the faith I place in the One who already accomplished it all on the cross. It's my daily goal to keep that truth front and center. 

I’m thankful for the community I’ve found at Woodland Bible Church. Every day is a new chance to learn more about truth and to shine a little light for others. I’m far from fully understanding everything, but I love how I can take Sunday’s message and live it out on Monday with my staff and students. That nudge to bring love into public ed ten years ago—that was the Spirit. I’m glad I listened.

Just Love, 

Kirsten

Graduation Day 2025

We are finally here. Graduation Day 2025.

I can still vividly remember my own high school graduation more clearly, even than my college one. Maybe it’s because of the mindset I was in during those two very different seasons of life. In high school, you believe those friends around you will always be your tribe as you set out to explore the real world. But what life teaches you, slowly and surely, is that growth takes you places you never imagined, and people come and go.

What I had to learn through years of college and young adulthood, Addie has already faced with grace. The world has grown up so much since my time. It moves faster, speaks louder, and carries more labels than ever before. Even within a 60-mile radius, it feels like different worlds exist. And yet, Addie has always stayed rooted in who she is.

Reflection on what was and what will be always comes from a state of faith. If I could tell Addie anything about these life lessons is that God is always the center of EVERYTHING! I remember my mom talking about faith and making us go to church. As a kid, it was something we had to do. As an adult, it's all about your relationship with Christ, and it's a choice. I am so blessed to have a God-fearing, Jesus-loving young woman, and I pray that Stone will one day come to feel that same spirit, that same peace.

This past week, I found myself caught up in what others might think. But Scott, as always, brings me back to what matters. When the weather’s warm, we don’t watch TV, we “porch sit.” We listen to music, talk, and just be. The stories shared under the shade of those front yard trees over the last 22 years could fill a book. It’s a rhythm of life that small towns still afford; a kind of peace that isn’t found in clean houses or perfect plans.

“No one will ever say, ‘Dang, she had a clean house,’ when you die,” Scott always reminds me when I get caught up in the details. And he’s right. That’s not what lasts. It's the time with your people, in the moment, that creates picturesque memories.

So here’s where my blogging has taken me today: Have we given her what she needs to grow beyond us? To build a life richer and wiser than ours?

She is strong in her faith. She leads with character and doesn’t care what others think, not out of pride, but out of peace. She’s chosen a path in speech and language pathology, inspired by real-life experiences. She is honest, hardworking, and kind. Her photographic brain, like her dad's, has helped her academically, but she’s also had to work hard to manage the anxious heart she inherited from me.

And through it all, I believe deeply that the greatest lessons start at home. Teachers can do a lot, but families must live the values they hope to pass on. I pray we’ve been that example for her.

When Stone was born, I promised Addie there would always be one song that belonged just to her:
“You are my sunshine.” That hasn’t changed. (see the video in the FB comments- downloading is not my friend this morning)

Addison, I know I’ll have to do some growing of my own this year — learning how to let go and cheer from a little farther away. But I remind myself: God didn’t give you to me to keep. He gave me the gift of raising you, preparing you to go out and do His work in the world.

Go be the hands and feet of Jesus. Be the light you believe exists in this world. Find your path. Live in the moment. Shine your light on others.

Addie's Grad Cap

You may be taking your sunshine to Muncie, but the warmth of your growth, your joy, and your faith will always reach me.

I love you, Addie, and I am so incredibly proud of you.
Today is just the beginning: the first step toward the life you get to create. A life filled with your people, your traditions, and your faith.

And no matter where that life takes you, you’ll always know where home is. (Yes, bring the laundry when you come to see me- just come see me!)

Just Love,

Mom

There's Not a Course Description for that

 "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt's quote is from a Christmas gift I received a month ago.  Who knows who it's from because it was left on my desk among packages gathered throughout the busy day.  A day that was filled with love, business, and the excitement to see family and friends.  A day I would gladly go back after the past 72 hours. 

A month later, that gift was found in my room and a reminder that today was just that... a thing I did that I wish I never had to do.  There's not a class on how to lead through grief.  There's not a script for every situation that presents itself during the days after losing a friend, colleague, mom, teacher, sister, daughter, wife, and wonderful human.   There are no words for the family that's surviving in the moment.  The young aide who's lost a mother figure.  The teacher down the hall that depends on those morning conversations.  The friend who has been navigating health issues over the years and advocating for answers.  There's no class for any of it. 

This is not the first time leading a staff through utter sadness.  This time is different; unexpected, abrupt, and down right hard.  You are the right person to lead them out of the darkness, I was told.  Dad would have agreed.  He always thought I was great with relationships and easy to talk to.  I have a way with people because I'm authentic and my compassion is real.  You are thinking of people you've worked for or with that, the words lose meaning quickly because actions don't match.  It's sad but we all have learned from these people.  Some more than others.  

But I didn't have to lead anything today.  Today, Kellie's stories lead the day.  The sharing started in the office and continued in the library.  I listened.  Tears flowed as the reality set in.  We prayed.  The confusion of how to manage kids' emotions while we grieve were real.  We love.  The connection with the family and letting them know how special she was; we embraced. The past 2 days have been filled with reflections of how Kellie lived her life and how she treated each of us and there was one common theme: love.  

Just Love.  

Kirsten

New Year's Day

 Did you come here for the Taylor reference or the fact that it is New Year's Day?  Those that know me well have watched the journey of TS music with Addie over the past 2 years.  This Christmas, I put all our memories in a shadow box for her to relive whenever she wants.  I also wrote letters to each of my family members because why not say what your heart leads you to?  It's just another card/letter from mom but to me, it's a moment in time that they can look back and reflect on the life we built together and the love we shared. 

 I read a quote from one of my teacher's Facebook posts, and it snapped me back into reality: Earth is the closest place to Hell we will ever have to live.  Ponder that one for a moment.  

I started this blog to reflect on my purpose and outwardly live my faith. Life is made of moments, but even our best moments pale in comparison to the glory of Heaven. It brings me back to the bigger purpose we each have—the reason we were placed on this Earth. This is where faith takes root, even as our understanding fades. My perspective on why and how things happen is based on experiences, as I’m sure yours is too. Yet, we’ve all had moments that make us wonder why we were placed in a particular situation.

When people ask if I enjoy being a principal, my response is always the same: it’s my calling. I was called to this role, just as I was called to be Scott’s wife and Stone and Addie’s mom. Nothing in life happens by chance. So, why wouldn’t our most cherished memories feel closer to the trials of Earth than the perfection of Heaven? It’s because our understanding is limited. The gift of eternal life—the joy of Heaven—will surpass anything we could ever preserve, even our best Taylor Swift moment tucked away in a shadow box.

Many bible verses remind us that our time here counts. So yes, make the memories, live out your purpose, and be full of Jesus' love.  A few of my favorites:

John 10: Jesus tells us how He is the good shepherd and  "I came so that they could have life — indeed, so that they could have life to the fullest". (John 10:10)

Jeremiah 29: Let go and let God- a phrase that comes from Jeremiah 29:11 where God reminds us that he does not bring on failure or struggle, but with these moments comes strength in our faith.  Because God said, “For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Then there's Ecclesiastes which gives us scripture to enjoy life to the fullest, under the fear of God.  All our actions will have accountability, therefore your free will is ultimately your life's book.  What is written on those pages matter.  Your purpose matters.  Your morning and nighttime actions, matter.  (Ecclesiastes 11:9-10) Is what we have done, enough?

Just love- 9 years ago this week we lost a great man.  This is the first year, since he's been gone, that I have not cycled into an anxiety mess of grief over the holidays.  It's how we choose to move forward, what we write on those pages, and how we live out our purpose.  Do I miss him?  Oh, so much!  Is his spirit guiding me and protecting me? I sure do hope so! 

If someone asked me if I like being a principal, I would say it's my calling.  But if you ask me on a deeper level, I would say I never wanted to be here.  When I say it's a calling and all the stars aligned that is exactly what happened.  I took a path I didn’t even know I was meant to follow—a journey that transformed my uncertainties into something extraordinary. It’s a path that illuminated the darkness and filled my heart with a love deeper than I ever thought possible. It’s God’s plan—one that has brought me several stories and opportunities to live by faith, not by sight. 

So what are your plans for 2025?   Are you on a pathway that is faced with uncertainty, anxiety, or hopelessness?  Hold tight to His promise, fill your mind with scripture, and be open to new opportunities.  You never know when God's timeline shifts, new relationships form, or callings grow.  I am always excited to deep dive into faith and career pathways.  If that is a conversation you want to have, shoot me a message! 

Happy New Year!

Just Love,

Kirsten

Enjoy a great listen from Taylor Swift: New Year's Day

"Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you.  I will hold on to you."