Saturday morning, oh wait, Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving. I awake to find my home asleep as it is only 5:00 AM. I turn on the Christmas lights, make a cup of coffee and grab my book. Self-care is the focus for any break. I pick up my devotional to read, "When your mind is thanking me, you have no time for worrying or complaining." So I open the bible and reflect on this quote.
Sometimes you have to go a little deeper. In reading the entire passage there is this phrase that pops. You know, the one you listen for while sitting by Christmas lights and enjoying a warm cup of coffee. "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing" 1Thessalonians 5:11.
Last week our cups were empty. Well, let me share my cup was empty. I didn't think I could give one more ounce of compassion as my heart was breaking but the days continued. Compassion fatigue, that's where many educators are sitting this morning. It's the simple "cost of caring." The burdens are heavy in a normal school year but we are far from normal. We are in the middle of a pandemic and our teachers have their personal lives, the students lives, and their work lives to deal with on a daily basis. The cost of caring is high. As you read this, my educator friends, how many of these indicators are you feeling? (taken from Supporting the Wounded Educator, Hendershott & Hendershott, 2020)
physically or mentally/emotionally tired
overwhelmed by student needs
overwhelmed by ordinary tasks
withdrawing or isolating
irritability over "small stuff"
pessimistic or cynical outlook regarding self, others, and/or situations
feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
blaming and/or complaining becomes the substance of most conversations
disrupted sleep
abusing drugs, alcohol, or food
difficulty concentrating
a sense of dread or anxiety
increased absences or chronically late to work
inability to maintain balance of empathy and objectivity
expressions of low self-esteem and low self-worth
Just sit with that for a minute. Pause and reflect on where you are with your current mental health.
Trauma, past and present, has to have coping mechanisms. Humans are social and during a pandemic when we are asked to isolate, away from family and friends but continue to work with and around our students and peers, we find ourselves caught in the middle. I for one am really struggling with the relational loss. I have not seen my family since last February. We zoom and try to stay connected but because of the decision to quarantine or work we are stuck. Personal trauma, well maybe not trauma, but loss or a sense of grief. I miss them. I miss the hugs and the laughter. I feed off relationships and love and feel like part of me and especially my kids are grieving. That comes out in many ways; anger, fear, depression, confusion, and questioning reality. We are here though and so the one thing I'm reminded of this morning is God's will.
Today I surrender all of it. Self-care is a trendy way to say; sharpen that saw of faith! Who do you turn to when you have compassion fatigue? When work is too much? When isolation seems to be answer.
There is this vision of how to move forward, in each of us. Today, I am reflecting as a leader, daughter, wife, mother, and friend. In every moment is a chance to be thankful. To chose to see the good and find the peace. Even during a pandemic with loss and struggle there is good. I hope you educators do have time to sit and be still. Listen for His voice and surrender your thoughts.
As we prepare for Thanksgiving, I am sending all my educator friends love and peace. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for caring. Thank you for going the extra mile. Thank you for giving yourself beyond what you thought you could give. Thank you for trusting your admins as we lead beside you. Thank you for doing what's right even when it's so hard. Thank you.
I pray you all have a blessed break with time to reflect on all the things you have to be thankful for.
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