It's been some time since I felt there was something to say. I read blogs everyday and just didn't have anything, until this morning. I was scanning through my Facebook posts and saw the updated This Life I Live blog post and heard an amazing song that brought more emotion out of me than expected.
Leave It There - Bradley Walker from Hickory Films on Vimeo.
Today is 5 months since dad went home. These days are more difficult than expected but I feel this song came at just the right time. I read Joey and Rory's story as dad was dying. I felt the pain for them as I knew what was coming and couldn't imagine how that little girl was going to make it without her mama. How was I going to do without my dad?
That's when you realize you have to "leave it there." Dad played music all my life and I turn to music as much as scripture. Dad's last few songs came from dreams he had during his surgery. They are beautiful and full of God's words. These words instantly rang true when I listened to this song this morning:
"If your body suffers pain, and your health you can't regain and your soul is slowly sinking in despair. Jesus knows the pain you feel. He can save and He can heal. Take your burdens to the lord, leave it there" (Bradley Walker, 2016).
Dad did just that. He turned everything over and never showed fear. As our lives become filled with new opportunities, desires, despairs, fear, new storms... it's important to remember to give everything to Him. The good, the bad, the unknown. He is in control and will guide you on the path He has planned, you just have to listen and be patient.
I have another opportunity to lead. Leading summer school, in a larger capacity of any other leadership position, has been an exciting experience. I think it's important to continue living in the moment, just like Rory shared in his last post. Those memories will always be with me but the burden of loss, pain, despair has to be left for Him. The learning experience of watching a parent die turns into a character strength, without even knowing. I find myself more dedicated to each moment everyday.
Understanding that leadership is difficult, contains many expectations, and presents many obstacles is just a slice of the experience. The relationships created, the newly expanded empathy, the trust we have built makes the other slices become more relevant. After all, the main objective is student success. It's not about organized bus lists, detailed para schedules, or even cloud based resources; it's about touching the lives of every one of our students. If we can empower our teachers with everything they need to be successful with our students, we are moving in the right direction. If our students leave everyday with a sense of community and motivation to keep learning, we have been successful. It's about living in the moment with my staff and students. It's about compromise, compassion, caring, but most of all....LOVE. I love my current path and look forward to learning from others as I grow and refine this craft.
It is more difficult but dad would be proud. He was the one that pushed me to continue in my profession, to want more, to keep learning and I know I can't call to tell him all the exciting things I'm doing, but I know he's right here, every step of the way. I'll leave you with dad's last song. One he pushed to finish before he went home. It has some powerful lyrics that really makes you think about the way you are living. I hope you enjoy it!
My dad's last song....
JUST LOVE
Kirsten
No comments:
Post a Comment